The last 8 years

Have you ever heard of the broadway musical, The Last 5 Years? It's a great one. I started watching it by myself one night on Netflix and then immediately regretted my decision. Not because it was terrible, but because it struck a nerve. I was crying within the first song. It's a beautiful and yet heartbreaking story about a relationship that ends. Don't worry, that's not a spoiler.

My life is not what I imagined it would be. I'm starting over. And sometimes that feels like the worst thing ever. And sometimes it feels amazing. It really just depends on the day.

The really great thing about my marriage ending is that I honestly don't have any regrets. I know not many people can say that. But it's true. I loved him with all of me, and in the end we wanted different things. And that's okay.

You might be thinking wow, shouldn't she be more of a mess right now?? Well the short answer is no. I've already had lots of time to process this and grieve and cry and be angry. I'm now at the stage where I can be more open about all of this. I'm taking control of my own life and making decisions based on what I want to do. And it feels good.

I am grateful that I've had the last 8 years to travel around and live in new places. It pushed me outside of my comfort zone, and ultimately made me a more well-rounded person. Nothing in this life is guaranteed, but I'm choosing to focus on the good and hope for the best.

I hate having a blog post without a photo of some kind, so you get a beautiful garden pic and a recent selfie... you're welcome  :)